20 Lessons of Parenting

20 Lessons of Parenting

1. Don't try to nurse and go potty at the same time. You may not bare the consequences consistently, but it will only take one case of spit up to prove this lesson valuable. Trust me. 
2.  Put into practice the saying, "A baby never rolled off the floor." It is better to set them down crying, then to never brush your teeth again.
3.  If the baby sleeps, you sleep. Period.
4. If you snack during the night you wont feel so tired in the morning.
5. If you snack during the night you will gain your pregnancy weight back.
6.  When your husband has the next day off work, let him take over the nightly burping duty and diaper changes. Enjoy your extra 10-15min of sleep!
7. Breastfeed before leaving if at all possible and always bring a hooter-hider. Getting caught in a place that you can't empty the milk supply turns out to be painful! Worst case scenario you may have to relieve your girls from bursting by nursing in the Dairy Queen bathroom.
8. Never plan around visitors. It is tempting to try and have baby changed, fed and dressed when friends and family arrive but the odds of them rescheduling or showing up late are too great to put in the amount of effort it takes to do so. 
9. Always pack 2-3 outfits for baby when going out.
10. Always pack an extra outfit for yourself.
11. If you have 2 blowouts in a row try a bigger size of diaper.
12. Release the desire to be spit up free. It is going to happen. Just wipe it off best you can and move on. Besides, you will have less laundry to do that way.
13. Carrying that heavy car seat is awkward! The best way I have found is with both hands, holding it with its side parallel to the front of your body. It reduces the limping with a peg-leg form of walking you get with the one handed side carry.  
14. If your baby has trouble sleeping or is gassy it is probably something you are eating. For some it is spicy foods and garlic. For me it is chocolate and dairy.
15. You are not a bad mother if you cant resist the chocolate ice cream your husband brings home.
16. Throw away the chocolate ice cream. After a whole night of a fussy baby you realize it wasn't worth it. Buy sorbet and soy milk to curb your cravings.
17. Let your husband double as a free babysitter, it feels good to escape occasionally.
18. You can never carry to many back-up binkies.
19. Spit up disaster prevention technique:place burp rags strategically around the house so that one is always in arms reach.
20. If you eat hard boiled eggs your babies toots will smell like hard boiled eggs. In the case that yours do as well, feel free to blame them on him anyways.